Cosleeping with multiple children
By MULTIWEAR Co
Cosleeping with more than one child definitely becomes a 2 bears in the bed and the little one says "i'm crowded, roll over" type of situation.
I'm a self proclaimed attachment parent, not in all aspects but definitely in cosleeping. I just find that sleeping with your children is a way to literally hang on to every ounce of their being such amazing sweet things. When I can't relish every cute thing they say, like my 3 yo saying 'pinching' instead of punching, I like to hold them as they sleep. I love seeing their restful faces at peace.
Not to say that I don't need my space or that hubs does either. But, I guess we picked our battles when we had kids - I focused a lot on elimination communication and getting them out of their cloth diapers quickly more so than I did sleep training. Since I was working it was not a big priority to get them to sleep on their own. Even though I tried to put them in a bassinet, even the first night at the hospital, how could I let the baby sleep in that plexiglass crib thing when I was right there and wanting to cuddle with them?
Alas, we now have our oldest 5 yr old still wanting to cuddle and sometimes being more needy to cuddle than her little sister. They are both so darling I don't mind it one bit. BUT I do have to say that sometimes they get so close, I wish the bed had a conveyor belt to move them a bit! To sleep comfortably I sometimes need a little space.
Cosleeping is a very common practice among parents from many generations and countries and it also has found renewed love in the community of attachment parents. Though some people advocate sleep training and letting babies cry to sleep, those of us who cosleep will have none of that! I do think it is a trade off. Being a working parent, sometimes night is a time to connect with your children and you also have the convenience that you can nurse them on command when they are sleeping right next to you. You can also sleep while they nurse so you can have uninterrupted sleep.
You may be wondering -- when does cosleeping end? I'm not in a rush to end it but I do think that having my 2 older girls sleep on their own in their bunkbeds would be nice to introduce. We got them a night light of princesses that they liked and had them sleep in their own room for as long as they wanted. They didn't last long and they stayed up talking the entire time. Getting them to lay still on their own and fall asleep will be an interesting challenge.
I know many people wonder, how do parents keep their relationship in tact if they cosleep with their children? Well, I would say go google that on babycenter if you must know. But I think every couple is different in that regard. I guess the one thing that is nice is knowing you're not the only one!
I see it as more that it is something I won't have forever. I actually coslept as a child with my mother and my sister and I do vividly recall a time when I wasn't having it anymore but I had no choice! Eventually we had our own rooms but yeah, there were periods when my mom would still sleep in our room and she had developed such a snoring problem that I really began to dread sharing a room with her much less cosleeping with her. So in a way, I know that every child will get to a point where they want to be big kids and be on their own. It will be interesting to see when that will occur. I feel my 5 year old may be ready but I still love to cuddle my 3 yo. I'm not sure I can kick one to the curb without the other.
And then what becomes of the 3rd!??? That's why I'm going to try the Dock a Tot and see how it goes. We've had dress rehearsal with it one night and it didn't last long. The 3 yr old wanted to sit in it like it was a floating mat on water. For the 3rd child, if this cosleeping continues which it might (hard to say because when I'm absent, they tend to do really well sleeping without me and the hospital stay would be a perfect transition time), we will definitely have to divide and conquer mom/dad and the breakdown of the kids. This whole scenario was one reason I dreaded the idea of having another child. But over the past 28 weeks, the kids have acclimated to the idea of an addition to the family and have also softened in their resolve to be next to me at all times. I had joked I would be the mommy sandwich and then where does the 3rd go? On top?! Two on the sides, one at the feet. We will probably rotate the 2 girls and then also split amongst mom and dad. When I had #babyno2, we divided and conquered for the first 6 weeks to get her on a consistent sleep and nursing schedule. I'll definitely have to come back and update on the good, the bad. the ugly, about cosleeping with 3 kids.
Also, to note, cosleeping can be very dangerous if you do not take precautions. If you are interested in cosleeping, make sure that you do your research before deciding to. I will write a separate blogpost on safe cosleeping in the future. Til next time!